‍Two Motivators For Obedience

‍1 John 4:15-21 (NASB) Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

‍As John points out, fear involves punishment. The underlying reason we are admonished to fear God is to motivate obedience to avoid punishment.

‍Deuteronomy 28:15 (NET) “But if you ignore the LORD your God and are not careful to keep all his commandments and statutes I am giving you today, then all these curses will come upon you in full force

‍The NT message is that love ought to be our motivator, not fear. 

‍“Perfect love casts out fear.” Everyone likes to quote this, but what does it mean? Not, I suspect, what most think. In context, the verse might be better understood as “Perfect love displaces the need for fear,” serving as a motivator for change.

‍John 14:15 (NASB) “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

‍1 John 5:3 (NET) For this is the love of God: that we keep his commandments.

‍People are admonished to ‘fear’ God and wives their husbands.

‍Deuteronomy 6:13 (NASB) You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.

‍Ephesians 5:33 (ASV) Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband.

‍Why is the husband commanded to love his wife and the wife commanded to fear her husband? Some suggest that men need to be commanded to love because it’s not natural to them, while for women, it’s in their nature.

‍If nature is a factor, then how do the natures of men and women differ? 

‍Several research studies and meta-analyses have shown small but significant gender differences in the expression of emotion in adulthood in the US and some Western European countries, with women showing greater emotion expression overall ¹

‍Is love an emotion or a decision? Maybe that depends on who’s asking or answering. For women, it’s an emotion, a feeling you have for a person, place, or thing. For men, well, it’s like, “I told you I loved you when we got married. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.” For men love is a decision.

‍If love is a feeling and feelings are as fickle, then we can fall out of love. If love is a decision, then it will weather the storms.

‍Was the Bible intentional in commanding the husband to love and the wife to fear? God is always clear on His intentions.

‍“Perfect love casts out fear” may be better understood as ‘perfect love replaces fear as a motivator.’

‍If neither fear nor love is able to motivate the fruit of obedience, you will want to question who your father is.

‍John 8:44, 47 You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father… The one who belongs to God listens and responds to God’s words. You don’t listen and respond, because you don’t belong to God.”

‍If neither fear nor love is able to motivate the fruit of obedience, then be prepared to hear those dreadful words of Matthew 7:23, ‘I never knew you. Go away from me, you lawbreakers!’

‍1 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4469291/

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‍© 2026 Steve Bydeley.

‍All publishing rights reserved. Permission is herewith granted to reprint this article for personal use and to link or refer to it; however, no commercial re-publishing of the material in this article is permitted without prior written consent.

‍Steven is the author of *Fathered by God* and, together with his wife Dianne, co-author of *Dream Dreams* and *Dreams that Heal and Counsel*. They have appeared as guests on the Miracle Channel, Trinity Television, and Crossroads Communication, and have taught various topics around the world.

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‍Without Prejudice. © 20265, Steven., house of bij de Leij., of man.